Lovely
by lilypadinthewater
Summary: After being in a long-term, abusive relationship, Angela finds it difficult to trust other people, let alone other men. She is slowly learning how to open up again and to let go of the past, but she quickly finds out that her past is not ready to let go. Trigger Warning: Abusive situations, Domestic violence, Language.
1. The One Night Stand

**Lovely  
-**The One Night Stand

I tangled my fingers in his soft, curly hair as he drove harder and deeper. I didn't know much about him, but I could be sure he liked when I played in his hair. The harder I tugged, the harder his hips pinned mine to his bed. He was driving me just as mad as he dragged his tongue slowly across the sensitive skin at my neck.

With every thrust, my voice broke as I moaned louder and louder until my orgasm took over. His movements became more erratic and faster and I could hear his deep breathing in my ear. I grabbed him by the hair, pulling me to him for a kiss as he came, moaning low and guttural.

For a moment, we stayed like that: kissing while the sweat on our skin cooled. Our lust-filled trance gradually turning into discomfited awkwardness. For me, anyway.

He pecked my lips a few times before collapsing at the side of me. With his eyes nearly closed, he pulled the covers over us. I covered myself with the thin blanket that smelled just like him and turned away from him on my side. He shifted behind me and came close behind me. I froze when I felt his body against mine and his fingers trailing my arm. He slipped his arm under mine, and his hand finally rested on my belly.

I still don't know why, but I relaxed when I felt him kiss my shoulder. I should've been leaving now, not relaxing. I decided I'd wait until he fell asleep to leave, but as I heard his breathing even out and become heavier, the day began to catch up with me. I couldn't move, and I hate him for it.

I hated him for touching me this way instead of walking me to the door. I hated him for looking at me in the eyes so intensely that I had to look away. I hated him for holding me so close now that I didn't want to leave. And that's when I fell asleep. In his arms, hating him.

~o~

Two hours later, I woke up with his tight grip still around my body. I had to get home, though, so I slowly removed his hand and rolled out of bed to find my underwear. They were under his thigh on the bed, and I cursed mentally before slowly slipping them from under him. I froze in place when he rolled over onto his stomach and clutched the pillow under his head. Quickly and quietly, I found my bra and jeans on the floor. I shimmied into them on, feeling as though I was at the home stretch. As I was looking for my shirt I heard his voice.

"You're leaving?" he asked in a groggy voice.

_Shit_, I cursed again. I cleared nothing from my throat and turned to see him laying on his back with the sheet barely covering him. I looked away.

"I need to feed Milo," I told him just as I'd caught sight of my shirt under the bed. I fell to my knees to retrieve it. I could see the used condom on his side on the floor and I groaned under my breath. When I raised my head, he was right there, propped up on his elbows.

"Who's Milo" he asked, brushing my hair behind his ears. I restrained myself from doing the same; his dirty blonde curls were all over his head like a frizzy halo.

"My cat."

"I didn't know you had a cat."

I snorted, "You don't anything about me, kid."

"I know that I'm older than you-" he said, smiling as he pulled me closer for a kiss, and I accepted. His lips were so soft and he was a great fucking kisser. I pulled away before I could lose myself again. I cursed yet again when I saw that arrogant smile on his face. I stood up and stretched into my shirt. "-so you can stop calling me "kid." Just give me a couple minutes, I'll put some clothes on and drive you home."

"The bus is just fine, thank you."

"It's three o' clock in the morning. Crazy people are crawling around here."

"I said I was taking the bus- not walking." I caught sight of him getting out of bed and slipping into a pair of black sweatpants before I went to the living room to find my shoes. I found my black boots in the kitchen of all places. I pushed my feet into them and went to the door just as he was trying to catch up.

"Angela, wait." I stopped and slowly turned around to see his confused face. "Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you or something?"

I hated him for this, too. For being so fucking concerned when he should just let me go. It was just a one-night-stand, for fuck's sake. These were supposed to be the easier. "No, you didn't do anything wrong," I told him, crossly.

"Well, okay." He ran a hand through his hair, half-attempting to tame it. "Take my number-"

"For what?" I asked, looking down at the ground. I couldn't handle the strange look on his face because I was coward.

"I had a good time tonight and- I dunno -I was hoping we could see each other again."

When I looked up, the hopefulness in his eyes, nearly floored me. "No," I told him simply.

"But-"

"Just leave it...okay, Jasper? I was just a fuck, so let's just leave this here, okay?" I turned on my heels and walked out of his apartment, pulling the door behind me.

~o~

Milo, my orange Tabby, came out of the shadows of my apartment and began to walk in and out of my legs as I put out food and water for him. He took a sip and a few bites before following me into the bathroom to wait for me on the floor while I showered. His slinky figure trailed me into the bedroom as I put on some comfortable clothes. The apartment was freezing and I couldn't help but skip around on the wood floors as I walked through the apartment with no shoes on. I brought his bowl from the kitchen into the room and got under the covers, shivering. Milo quickly ate then joined me on the bed. I half-covered his orange fur so that he wouldn't get too hot and stroked his fur. He began to purr as he warmed up. I took my cell phone from the side table and dialed Bella's number.

"Hello?" she sleepily answered after a few rings. I had clearly woken her up from her sleep, and I immediately felt horrible about it. She must've just gotten home as well.

Despite this, I still hesitantly asked, "Can you come up?"

"Are you okay, Angela?" The alarm in her voice was noticeable.

"I'm fine, I just…I really needed to talk to you, Bella. Can you come up?"

"I'll be right up, okay?"

I didn't deserve a friend like Bella. I didn't really deserve many of the great things in my life, but here they all were. I stroked my cat who had now stopped shivering and waited for the door to open. The front door opened first and I heard Bella curse as she shut the door and quickly ran into my room. She shut the door and hopped into the bed next to me. Milo hissed at first but when he saw it was Bella, he curled up next to her as she rubbed his belly.

"Edward's mad, right?" I asked, knowing she wouldn't tell me the truth. "For pulling you away so late."

"He understands that you need me."

"But he's mad, right?"

Bella sighed, "Angela…what's wrong?"

"Please don't judge me, okay?"

"I would never judge you."

She was right. Through all the stuff we've been through together, she's never once judged me for anything. I didn't deserve her.

"I went home with someone from the club tonight." She was silent and waiting for more. "We danced a few songs and then I told him to wait for him in the parking lot until I was ready to finish dancing. I didn't expect him to be there, but when I went outside, he was there, looking like he'd been there for a while, smoking a cigarette. We went back to his place and I was all over him, telling him to just fuck me, you know, but he wouldn't. He brought me to the bed and he kissed me so slow and soft and he didn't take his eyes off mine and-" I interrupt myself with a sigh. "He made me feel so good and for one second - for one fucking second, I thought of it as more than a one-time thing. I pictured us together, but that was a joke. One night stands don't turn into anything. It was just me living in a stupid fantasy world again, but…he looked so hopeful when he asked for my number. I knew that it'd be a waste. That _I'd_be a waste."

"Angela, you're _not_a waste. You can't think so little of yourself."

I could feel the tears coming so I blinked them back. I was so tired of crying over myself.

"One-night-stand or not, all guys aren't like James-"

My breath involuntarily hitched at his name.

"_I fucking hate him,_" Bella spat. "I can't even mention his name without you panicking." She stroked Milo for a while. "You don't know what it's like for someone to respect you so when a guy comes along who does, you shut him out."

"There was no respect or disrespect, Bella. Just sex."

"You know what I mean." And I did.

I didn't say anything after that, and I hadn't planned on saying anything more. She knew I could get like this so she didn't say anything either. She waited for me to speak again instead. I closed my eyes and cuddled closer to Milo. "Will you stay with me until morning?"

Bella settled into the bed. "Yes."

"What about Edward?"

She'd never say. "Goodnight, Angela."

I settled in and closed my eyes before falling deep into deep sleep.


	2. The Morning After

**The Morning After**

When I woke up, Bella was gone, which meant she was at the shop already. I looked at the clock on my wall and saw that I only had fifteen minutes left until I had to make it there myself. For a moment, I struggled with the idea of calling out and lying in bed all day, but I knew that would lead to me being alone with my thoughts, and that was never a good idea. It always led to self-loathing, which defeated the point of a day off.

Instead, I jumped out of bed quickly as to not jar myself awake. Getting up in the morning when I had to go to work was often like ripping a band-aid off of my skin; I was not a morning person, and in order to get on with the day, I had to push the covers off and immediately go into the shower without a second thought.

Milo was running around my legs, almost tripping me. He was hungry, and I wasn't moving fast enough. Once in the kitchen, I cleaned out his bowl and laid out some food and water for him. I barely had enough time to pat him on the head before making my way into bathroom; though, it didn't really make a difference. After the food was in front of him, he totally forgot I was in the apartment.

It never really took me too long to get ready, but for some reason I couldn't help but drag my ass. Eventually, I got it together and was only about ten minutes late.

"Explain to me again how someone who lives around the corner from their job could be late," Edward said as soon as I walked through the side door. He was passing by with a crate of wine when I got in, and had a look of slight contempt on his face. Probably still a little irritated for pulling Bella away in the middle of the night.

"Hey, whose idea was it to go partying the night before work?" I rhetorically asked, pulling off my jacket as I made my way to the tiny break room in the back of the shop. He was right behind me just as I hung my jacket up on the coat rack.

"Uh, _not mine_," Edward said matter-of-factly. "And I seemed to make it to work just fine _before_ 6am."

"It's _your_ shop," I countered. "Besides, people with no soul don't need to rest."

He smirked, "You enjoy being a smart ass, don't you?"

"I'm not a smart ass, Edward. I'm clever."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get your butt out there before I dock your pay."

My mouth fell open in shock as he backtracked out of the break room. He shrugged, smiling before disappearing.

"What the hell's the point of having your friend as your boss if HE'S JUST GOING TO BE DICK?!" I called out to him, and I only heard a light chuckle in response. I put the lanyard with my nametag around my neck and put my hair in a high pony tail before going out to the front of the store.

Edward inherited _Masen's_ after his father died a few years back. It was mainly a sporting goods store, but it also sold everything else under the sun. There were aisles of snacks, books, vintage movies, liquor, clothing, ornaments, etc. I'd been working there for about eight years, and I _just_ memorized where everything is a few weeks back. Quirky signs and old photographs of Edward's family hung on the walls, so it always made people feel at home. Passerby's came in on their way through to pick up some fishing bait or local people would come in for a coffee and the paper. Though I really didn't enjoy being pulling away from my bed, I had to admit this shop felt like another home to me.

It was a bit crowded for this time of the day, but I suspected it had something to do with the new hot chocolate Bella had brewed. She wanted to try it out before selling it so there was a special going that morning. Before noon, everyone got to try the new white peppermint hot chocolate for free. It was only 9am, and Bella was already running low on the first pot. She had Mike in the back, making some more, and the smell was so goddamn amazing.

With a longing sigh, I began to work. It was my turn to restock the magazine shelves, so I carefully began organizing the shelves in the back. After about twenty minutes of me tediously spacing out the books, I got caught up in a tabloid magazine.

"Are they seriously dating? C'mon," I mumbled to myself as I stood in the aisle alone, reading the probably-made-up story. Just then, I heard someone call my name. I looked up from my magazine and saw Emmett standing there with his nametag on and a cup of hot chocolate in his hand. "How the hell did you get one?"

"I asked Mike."

"You _asked_ Mike, did you?"

"I persuaded him."

"You intimidated that poor boy for a cup of hot chocolate. That's low, Em."

Emmett was pretty muscular. Not overly muscular, but it was obvious he spent a few more hours in the gym than the average guy. Although, we knew him as the local pretty boy, people usually associated his muscles with aggression. He was one of the nicest guys you could ever meet, but on rare occasions he would use his muscles to his advantage. Most recently, he used his powers of "persuasion" to get himself an already free cup of hot chocolate.

"You're such a tool sometimes," I said, laughing and taking his cup from him. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I got a taste of that damn hot chocolate. I briefly groaned under my breath because it was still very hot, yet still very good.

"Man, I miss hearing that sound from you," Emmett said low with a slight playfulness in his tone. He was looking down at my mouth as I licked a shaving of peppermint off my lip.

"Go away, Emmett." I handed the cup back to him and faced the rack of magazines.

He laughed, shifting behind me, "I didn't even say anything."

"You didn't have to. That little grin was so transparent, and the answer is no."

I felt him casually get closer behind me. As I began to fix another magazine, I felt Emmett press himself against my butt. He kissed me from my shoulder all the way to my neck, like we weren't in a crowded fucking store. I couldn't lie that it felt _really_ nice, though. Okay, so we had a little friends-with-benefits situation- what of it?

"You're tense," he said in a normal tone. "Why don't you meet me by my car on your break, and I can help you relax?"

Along with being a pretty boy, Emmett was also a bit of an exhibitionist at times. He liked to do it in public places. Liked the thrill of almost getting caught for whatever reason. One time, he pulled me into the customer's bathroom and dared me to fuck him with all my clothes off- door unlocked. Growing up a little competitive, there was no way I was backing down from that dare. It was pretty busy that day, and people were swarming past the bathroom. A few people even tried to walk in on us, and it only amused him. He loved every moment of it, actually. He was relentless that day.

I snapped back to reality when someone passed by the aisle. He laughed as I elbowed him in the chest, pushing him off me.

"Nice try, but no," I told him.

He groaned, leaning against the bookshelf, and I briefly wondered if it would hold up against his body.

"Why don't you settle down and find a nice, kinky girlfriend, huh?"

"Cause I'm waiting for you, Ang," he said with a smile.

"We are _so_ not going down that road again. We tried that romance thing, and you know how awkward that was for us."

"Yeah, you're right, but I really do like fucking you and…we're…cool together."

"_We're cool together_? What're you, sixteen, Em?" I laughed, and he couldn't help but laugh along with me.

Bella suddenly popped up around the corner like a ninja.

"Em, there's a spill by the freezers," she said, pointing her thumb behind her.

"Get Mike to do it!" Emmett said, petulantly. There was even a slight pout. Like I said, he was nothing but a pretty boy at the end of the day.

"Mike's helping me, and…" her voice trailed off, and her eyes narrowed when she caught sight of his cup. "What're you drinking?"

"Uh this?" Emmett stammered, pointing to his cup and backing away. "Protein shake. I'll take care of that shake, boss."

Emmett rounded the corner, quickly getting out of sight.

"Oh, and Angela, some guy's over near the men's clothes and he needs help," Bella said. "Kind've hot actually."

"My definition of hot or _yours_?"

"He's wearing a Nirvana shirt. Does that help?"

"Hmph," I mumbled my approval.

I shuffled out of the aisle and made my way to men's section where I saw the worn, black shirt with the faded, yellow smiley face and lettering before I saw his face. When I looked up, I saw Jasper standing there, trying to decide which plaid button down he wanted to buy. Just as I was about to creep away, he looked straight at me. He looked as shocked as I did, but that look of alarm quickly turned into a smirk. He gave me the onceover; he saw my nametag and immediately realized that I worked here.

"Hello, Angela," he said with a smile.

"Uh…hi," I said awkwardly. "You're not stalking me, are you?"

He chuckled, "No, just came in for some shirts."

"Likely story. The day after we hook up, you're at my job? Highly…_suspect_."

"I can see how that makes me look," he nodded, amused. "Actually, I have a job interview tomorrow, and I thought I'd scope out the route to avoid getting lost."

"That's. More. Believable." There was some uncomfortable silence between us as I fixed the sale sign above the shirts.

"Sooooo," Jasper gauged, holding up the navy blue plaid shirt. "Can I get this in a large or…"

"Right, sorry. I just- be back!" I took the shirt from him and walked downstairs to the storage room. It didn't take me too long to find the box of shirts, but I took my time ripping it open and taking them out because I was trying to avoid going back upstairs, to be quite honest. After I'd procrastinated as much as I could, I walked back upstairs to see that Jasper hadn't moved from his spot. I walked up to him and tapped him on his shoulder. "Is that all you needed help with?"

Bluntly, he said, "How about a date?"

I scoffed, laughing. "They'll ring you up in the front. Thanks for shopping at _Masen's_."

When I turned to walk away, I felt his hand on my arm. I spun around, almost whipping him in the face with my ponytail. I scanned the store for Emmett and saw him in the adjacent aisle still mopping up the spill of homemade caramel. He was looking right at Jasper's grip on me. I wasn't being hurt; in fact, it was such a slight touch, I barely felt it. Emmett still held concern in his eyes. He nodded a head at me, questioningly, and I shook my head, essentially telling him I was okay. Jasper saw the silent exchange between me and the guy twice his size and his hands slowly dropped to his side.

"I thought that guy was the bouncer at the club last night. He's your friend?" Jasper said, furrowing his eyebrows.

I had to laugh at that comment. Emmett probably hadn't been in a fight since middle school. It was good having him around for "persuasion" purposes as well.

"Yes, and he's a professional UFC fighter," I said, putting it on thick.

Jasper squinted, checking my face for any hint of a smile. "Is that a lie?"

"Are you willing to find out?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "You might actually end up liking me."

"Yeah, well, I also might end up hating you."

"If you hate me, we'll never have to speak again."

This was a bad idea, I knew that, but the only way he was going to figure that out was if he experienced it himself. I would already know how this would end, so there would be no disappointment on _my_ end.

"One. Date." I said with my hand up to his chest. "And if you do one fucking thing that I don't like."

The corners of his mouth was curled up in a smile as he took my hand and leaned in to whisper.

"You have such a beautiful, dirty mouth. It drives me crazy when you say 'fuck.'"

I felt my face grow embarrassingly warm, remembering how many times I begged him to 'fuck me' and how many time he complied. _I hated him for making me blush, too._ He was still wearing that smug smile as we exchanged cell numbers. Without a word (mostly because I was afraid I would turn purple), I walked back to the magazines. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Edward ring Jasper up and I childishly ignored him as he left the store.

Quickly, I finished sorting the books and practically tripped my way over to Bella's side of the cashier's counter.

"You know the guy in the Nirvana shirt? He's the guy from last night!" I said in a harsh whisper.

"_No!_" Bella's eyes went wide as she finished up with the last customer in her line. She whipped around, fully giving me her attention. "Wait, is he stalking you?"

Yep, definitely my best friend.

"No," I told her. "At least I don't think so- anyway, the point is he asked me out on a date, and I said yes."

"But you hate dates."

"I know, but I wanted to get him off my back."

"By…dating him?" Her eyebrows knit together, confused at my logic. "Turning him down would've been more effective, you know."

"Bella, I'm giving him what he wants and proving a point. I'll show him the real me, and he'll see that he should've left me alone before. He knows where I work now; turning him down would've opened up the door for him to keep coming back here. Worse that could happen is we lose a customer, and I get to say 'I told you so.'"

And that's when she gave me _the look_. Once in a while, something I say will elicit that look. It was a mix between sadness and pity. Although, it only briefly flashed across her face, it always floored me. She didn't say anything for a moment, and just as she was about to, a few customers entered her line.

"We'll talk more when it gets a little less busy, okay?" Bella told me between bagging some fish bait.

"Yeah," I halfheartedly replied.

My mind was still on the look, and I wondered what I'd done this time because I was right. Sex was the easy part. Putting up with my shit was a whole different story entirely.


End file.
